Discontinuing the Jewish American Princess

Note: this was originally published in The Idealist zine in 2018. Names initialized for anonymity.

“Jewish American Princess,” a term that took hold in the New York area in the latter half of the twentieth century, is recognized today by Jewish social justice spaces as the intersection of anti-Semitism and misogyny, or “antisemisogyny.” However, its use prevails within the Jewish community; in a survey of 555 internationally located respondents, 94.2% were Jewish, 68.8% said they had used the term, and 85.4% said they had heard friends or peers use it. Multiple respondents even declared that they found the term to be accurate.

What is a Jewish American Princess, exactly? Often abbreviated as “JAP” in writing and in speech, the term connotes a wealthy, spoiled girl who, after taking advantage of her father’s money, marries a wealthy Jewish man and becomes reliant on his. She often has a nose job in her late teens and frequently straightens her naturally curly hair. When asked to describe the Jewish American Princess in 3-10 words, respondents frequently replied with “rich,” “shallow,” “entitled,” “spoiled,” or “brat,” and many included mentions of New York City or Long Island. Additionally, Jewish American Princesses are often characterized as apathetic wives and mothers who exhibit a catty, sexually frigid, or manipulative nature.

Why, then, do so many Jews feel comfortable using the term? The emphasis on the Jewish American Princess’s greed reeks of old-world anti-Semitism, and her assumed reliance on and manipulation of men is a classically sexist conception. It seems that Jews, both male and female, believe they can claim ownership of the term despite its use being exclusively in reference to women: as Jewish 17-year-old boy B.R. explains, “I don't find it offensive when Jews use it. I do find it offensive when non-Jews use it.”

This belief seemingly aligns with the common practice in social justice movements of accepting and advocating minorities’ reclamation of terms created and used by their oppressors. However, allowing Jewish men ownership of a term that does not affect them to nearly the same degree as Jewish women is questionable, and reveals a lack of intra-community understanding of where the trope of the Jewish American Princess originated—in the writings and stand-up comedy of Jewish men. Some of the most prominent early examples appear in the works of 1950s authors Herman Wouk and Philip Roth. B.R. tellingly stated that he was not aware of the trope’s origins after being informed.

The Jewish American Princess served the purpose of deflecting anti-Semitism directed toward Jewish men; the Jewish man is stereotypically unathletic, effeminate, and unassertive (think Ross Geller from Friends or Neal Schweiber from Freaks and Geeks). By blaming their perceived lack of masculinity on avaricious women, Jewish men shirked responsibility for their assumed traits, unconsciously making an appeal to the sympathies of their anti-Semitic oppressors.

Despite the large number of respondents who admitted to using the term, many also condemned it for its anti-Semitism and misogyny. Beyond its inherent harmfulness in being a pervasive stereotype, the Jewish American Princess trope severely affects media representation of Jews, and consequently how Jewish women view themselves. 54.1% of respondents said that they could not think of a female Jewish character who did not fit into the Jewish American Princess or oppressively anxious helicopter mother stereotype, and those who could mostly listed characters from less widely popular media sources. Some well-known examples of the trope include Rachel Berry from Glee, Rachel Green from Friends, Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls, and Cher Horowitz from Clueless.

M.S., a Jewish 17-year-old girl from upstate New York, highlighted how the trope criticizes Jewish women for their efforts to assimilate: “I have...dark curly brown hair that I straighten more often than I like to admit. Am I just conforming to stereotypical Jewish-American culture, something I sometimes scoff at people for doing?” This criticism often manifests itself in mockery of the Jewish American Princess’s nose job in particular. As M.S. explains, there is no reprieve for minorities—they are ridiculed both for attempting to meet Western beauty standards and for refusing to.

If the Jewish community wants to stop condoning misogyny and perpetuating the harm done by its oppressors, we must stop accepting the use of this term, especially by Jewish men. As N.C., a Jewish 17-year-old girl from Maryland, put it: “The characteristics [of the Jewish American Princess] aren't limited to Jews or to women and we have to stop pretending that they are and putting ourselves down. In a world full of both sexism and anti-Semitism, we must stop using it against our own people.” In daily life, Jews and allies can start by calling out the term when it is used by those around them and by renouncing the trope when it appears in media. A long-term change will require increased awareness of the trope’s origins and intra-community discussions centered around Jewish women’s voices.